


You are the Most useless child in the whole wide world

by Trololololoz (SillyWriterKidz)



Category: Trollhunters (Cartoon)
Genre: Abuse, Blood, Gaslighting, Gore, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Knives, Major character death - Freeform, Manipulation, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-26 09:05:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13854540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SillyWriterKidz/pseuds/Trololololoz
Summary: prompt from tumblr. Listening to a fucked up song. Leads to fucked up things





	You are the Most useless child in the whole wide world

**Author's Note:**

> Song: You are a Useless Usless Child by Kikuo
> 
> Lyrics are from Umber
> 
> Trigger WARNINGS!!  
> Implied/Referenced Abuse  
> Abuse  
> Emotional Abuse  
> Eating Disorders Implied  
> Major Character Death  
> Major Character Suicide  
> Manipulation  
> Depression/Anxiety  
> Blood  
> Knives

[ _You are an absolutely absolutely worthless child  
Without a doubt the most worthless kid in this whole world_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENUaHqzDWXs)

James “Jim” Lake Jr. was a conundrum. Merlin had no idea how to even begin to understand this young child. The other trolls tried to explain in hopes of helping the boy but Merlin ignored them, simply opting to continue observing this strange useless child. Sure he had grown from when he first began but he was no where near any of the other trolls and no where near Merlin’s own self.

 

 _Lalala you are awful at studying, exercises, and speaking_  
You are just a destitute, dense and dirty child  
Yet I still fell in love with the sobbing that came from your mouth  
That couldn’t even begin to utter its own name  
Dirty tissues, dandruff shampoo, messy, smelly diapers,  
You’re a germy, crybaby, scaredy-cat– just ignore it all  
Come here, your guardian will protect you together, tethered, stay with me forever

 

A strange feeling developed in Merlin as he continued watching the currently holder of his amulet. Merlin felt himself… _caring_ … for this kid’s well being as well as his ability to perform his duties. So Merlin did what he did best. He manipulated the boy in ways to make sure Jim would be reliant on him. He would be the father the kid never had (though he can see why the father left. Nonetheless he was better).

 _Lala, la a lullaby to go to sleep,_  
Together we will sing a lovely duet to sleep at ease, peacefully,  
Sing with me and sleep at ease you wretched, lonely, child

 

Merlin found he had more control in the boy’s dreams. It was easier to manipulate since it was just he brain going over information. All Merlin had to was just tweak a few things and the brain would accept it with no issue. It worked out in both Merlin and Jim’s favor he told himself. He couldn’t comprehend why none of the other spirits wouldn’t speak to him.

 

 _You are an absolutely absolutely useless child_  
Without a doubt the most useless kid in this whole world  
You are an absolutely absolutely useless child  
A child who would have been dead if it weren’t for me  
You are an absolutely absolutely useless child  
Such a sad, very sad, good for nothing kid  
You are an absolutely absolutely useless child  
It will be myself, your guardian, who will save you

 

Jim was listening to him more! Merlin was doing well and the boy was obeying him as a child should. He performed incredibly as Merlin had expected. Merlin couldn’t understand why none of the boy’s friends were happy with the outcome. A shrug as Merlin decided they weren’t worthy enough to be with Jim. He just cut them out of Jim’s life.

 

 _Lalala monster, phantom, invisible human_  
The flower vase in the urinal, skipping school  
From my sneering lips erupts a tiny voice expelling slander  
Now let us listen to the monotone shriek I love  
Nevertheless time continues to continue and continue  
You are a child with insufficient time or brains  
Now it’s too late; you’re mentally not there  
Such a cute kid, good kid, you belong to only me

 

Soon enough Jim was isolating himself from everyone around him. Merlin had no problems with this as it meant he could teach the boy more and more. It seems he didn’t notice how Jim started to avoid sleep, or how skinny he was getting. When Kanjigar brought this to his attention Merlin shrugged and said the boy was a bit to heavy and Merlin told him such. So the fact the former Trollhunter had lunged at him caused Merlin great distress. The boy would not be able to handle such responsiblities without him, he was unable to in his current state! Can no one see that Merlin was only trying to help? That Jim needs **only** him?

 

 _Lala, la a lullaby to go to sleep_  
 Now on the hypnotizing brink of dreams, drowsily   
Dance with me, dance with me, together let’s dance forever, wretched, lonely, child   
  
**Child**

 _You are an absolutely absolutely useless child_  
Without a doubt the most useless kid in this whole world  
You are a terribly, terribly, lonely child  
Since I’m the only one who would protect you

 

Another night, another memory altered. Toby was the boy’s closest friend but the loudest in voicing his opinions on Jim’s current state. This annoyed Merlin to no end so he just tweaked a few memories to make Jim think Toby hated him. Of course when actually confronted with Toby he had to make sure Jim wouldn’t doubt his own memories. It worked as Jim ran from the boy and stopped visiting his house. Toby still tired and it annoyed Merlin to no end. All of Jim’s ‘ _friends_ ’ tried to ' _help_ ’ him. Useless, worthless, and not worth any of Jim’s time.

 

 _Despite everything, that child won’t trust me at all_  
And decided to run far away from my side  
And before I realized it, that child was bloodied  
Even so that child ran away from my side

 

He’s catching on. It seems the former hunters had banded together to try and fix Jim’s memories. They managed to tell him that Merlin was altering his memories to isolate him. Jim didn’t know what to believe as Merlin had been nothing but kind to him. He was the great and powerful Merlin after all. He helped Jim realize he needed to train more and eat less as to avoid gaining to much weight. Merlin helped him avoid people that would just hurt and leave him like his father. Jim didn’t deserve to be with anyone but Merlin was kind enough to take him under his wing.

 

_Child_

 

Yet deep down Jim knew this was all false. He knew Merlin was bad, knew the wizard was hurting him. So when it came down to the final battle Jim threw away the amulet, wincing at the sound of Merlin’s fading screams.

Jim fought with no Daylight armor or sword, just a kitchen knife and his own instincts. Merlin pleaded and begged for Jim to pick him back up, that he wouldn’t be able to do anything without him. To Merlin’s shock, Jim held his own and even managed to bring back the girl from her possessed state. Jim managed to defeat the Pale Lady and Angor Rot witht he help of his friends. Still… 

 

_**CHILD** _

 

It did nothing to help what Merlin had done to him. The boy’s body and mind finally gave out. Jim had gone without sleep for nearly a week, hadn’t eaten anything except some fruit here and there, and most certainly hasn’t cared for himself. Merlin knew the boy was a nervous one but now he saw how bad it was. Merlin waited for Jim to pick up the amulet so he could save the boy from himself. He was waiting…

Jim was  _unable_  to see any other way out and took his own life. 

He couldn’t bear to be near Merlin again. That’s what they told him as the boy’s blue jacket slowly turned a deep red. The amulet was locked away, the revived Mogana managed to trap Merlin to the confines of it while freeing all the spirits and abilities the amulet held. He was trapped in a cold dark place, all alone.

 

 _I am an absolutely absolutely worthless child_  
I’m a worthless child because mine lives on no more  
I am an absolutely absolutely worthless child  
Now I have nobody to save me from myself  
I am a terribly, terribly, lonely child  
I’m a lonely child because mine lives no more  
I am a terribly, terribly, lonely child  
If only I could turn back the hands on the clock


End file.
